I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
