You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
