it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
