i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
