I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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