I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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