I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
this beer tastes like vomit already
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
