Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
