When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
