he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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