are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
