Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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