cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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