Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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