dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
