Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

I only kidnapped one of them. chill

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(713): View more from Texas

I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

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(206): View more from Washington

alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac

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(502): View more from Kentucky

And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs

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(516): View more from New York

do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?

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(949): View more from California

I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.

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(716): View more from New York

I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.

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