Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
