So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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