Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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