Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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