yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
