You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
