If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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