his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
