1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
