He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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