Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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