well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
