So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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