can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize