There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
