she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
