how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
