when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize