I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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