Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
