I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
