sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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