I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
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after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
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I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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