i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
