Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
