To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
BRING THE BAGELS
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
