dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
