Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize