Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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