i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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