You smell like stripper and shame
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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