I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
