why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
And then he peed in my hair
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize