I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
