ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
