i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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