Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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