i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
