I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
