There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
