Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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