I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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