just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
