I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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