if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do cheetos always look like penises
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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